Well, a formerly promiscuous girl I should say. I’m happily married now but I decided to take a trip down memory lane. Hopefully my bruises and bumps will help someone. As you know it all starts with virginity. Ah yes, virginity–a word many of us remember well from high school, some middle school or for the late bloomers college. As for this state of purity either you’ve got your virginity or you don’t right? Well…what if you don’t?

I was 19 and a sophomore in college the first time I had sex…well, sexual intercourse anyway…but I’ll save that for another time. I held out a long time by some peoples standards. All of my girlfriends had done it and I was the odd girl out. They knew that I hadn’t and they neither pressured me to do it or not to. I started dating a guy who was my best friend and we had lots of near close calls. We would stop when it got to heated and begin to pray together to God for strength to remain pure. One time, he even believed that he and a visitation from Jesus himself in the middle of the night urging him not to cross that line with me. He was terrified to touch me for a while after that, but even a visit from God himself can’t stop a man from sin…only that man can keep himself from sin. We have a choice.

One night in my dorm room…it happened. We fooled ourselves into believing that one day in the future we would get married and that made it somehow okay. After I had sex for the first time, I told my girlfriends and they were remorseful over the fact! It seemed that secretly they wished THEY hadn’t and they had envied me! “Well, it’s a fine time to tell me now!” I thought bitterly. “Had I known THIS, I would have never done it!” Not likely. Remember…”Not even God himself…” Nevertheless, I was a bit miffed that they neglected to share with me that they were less than proud of there non-virgin membership cards. I couldn’t take it back though, so I was determined to ride out what turned out to be an emotional roller coaster of a relationship. I think that I held on so tightly less because I felt we were soul mates and more because I felt he had taken something special from me that I couldn’t get back and he was obligated to be with me from now on. Believe me, guys don’t feel this way…and well they shouldn’t. A mistake is not the foundation for a solid relationship because it is only held together by resentment. Of course, we didn’t get married. We barely lasted into the next school year.

Plan B in effect: Well, if it wasn’t him that I was going to marry, then the only man that I would ever have sex with again would be my husband and that was final! That scenario didn’t pan out for me either…my next encounter, I was the victim of date rape. He told me, “If you did it with one guy…why not make it one more” and forced himself on me. Wow…his logic was way worse than mine! Well, it was down hill from there for me…I had fallen off the wagon and tumbled down a hill into a ditch. In my mind, sex with this second man (who was definitely not going to be my husband) was so far outside of my paradigm, I had now crossed a point of no return. I had no “Plan C” and I was now beyond spoiled or soiled…whichever…I was no longer pure so what was the point in holding out. Two men, to me, may have as well been twenty-two, but more on that later.

Fast Forward to the present: What I wish that I could have told that young girl so many years ago? Forgive yourself. Put on the same purple shades God is wearing, look at yourself and then see what He sees–a new you–glowing in a beautiful white garment. Let Him restore you back to your place of royalty and prestige. Take your place as a princess, seated next to Him under a purple sky. Envision yourself there with your hand in His or maybe with His arm around your shoulder. He honors you-so honor yourself as the majestic woman you are. And to those of you who have yet to make it to your wedding night I say there is freedom in celibacy. When everything else around you and inside of you is screaming, “girl, get yours,” just know there is a joy that comes from living honorably. There is a confidence that comes from demanding the “royal” treatment from the men in your life. There is an inner beauty that radiates when your spirit finally concludes “I am worth his total submission.” He must honor me the way God does and put a ring on it.

Virginity is special. And while it is a physical reality its also a state of mind. Purity is your state of mind as a purple sky girl or boy. Think about that the next time you consider giving a precious offering to an undeserving man (or woman), saying to yourself, “I may as well…I gave it away and I can never get it back.” Well God can give your purity back. So take it and wear it with dignity and honor.

More Revelations to come. Check out Confessions of a Promiscuous Girl Part 2

Do you have revelations from your first time?
If you’re struggling with promiscuity and need a different perspective consider Purity: The New Moral Revolution or Single, Saved, and Having Sex