“I want the money, money and the cars, cars and the clothes, the hoes, I suppose….I Just wanna be… I just wanna be successful”

I noticed that those lyrics from rising rap phenom, Drake, seemed to strike a chord with people, particularly in the 20 to 30 something age range. I also noticed there was something about the lyrics that really seemed to resonate with men in a real way, and I’d like to take a shot and explaining why that may be the case.

How do black men define success?

I guess the best way to approach this is by listing those things that characterize success by society’s standard. Now let me say that I am basing this on sheer observation (without any scientific polling) but I’d have to say that most men define their level of success by money, women, property, career, notoriety/respect, GOD – and probably in that order. Having said that, let’s go back to Drake’s lyrics, which speak volumes about this.

“I want the MONEY”… Yeah Drake, so do I and so do most men who were raised by parents who wouldn’t or couldn’t afford to buy them those Karl Kani Jeans that all the “cool” kids were wearing (Yes… I took it back there); so do a lot of the kids who grew up poor, watching the “hustlers” ride down the block on 22’s while they hopped the Metro or Marta. The point is that, from an early age we’re socialized to view success in terms of what we don’t have and what we see others enjoying. And since we’re looking at material things with financial value, then the answer to getting those things is obviously money. “money…money…money… money”

Unfortunately, instead of parents teaching us to value the things we have, they unintentionally reinforce it with proclamations like “well one day, when you’re a successful lawyer, you’ll be able to have a house and a car just like that.” Great! Not only have we learned that money makes you successful, but now we’ve just been taught that we’re not really successful until we have a Mercedes Benz and 5 bedroom house on a half acre of land…. Not to mention the fact that we better start studying for the LSAT or MCAT because being a teacher or a police officer is no longer considered par for a truly successful person.

Now here’s where things get all messed up. Since we’ve spent our adolescent years filling our heads with thoughts of being rich business tycoons, living in 11,000 square foot mansions, what happens when real life sets in? What happens to us when we realize that we all can’t be rich, we all can’t be lawyers, doctors, rappers or basketball players, and we all can’t be married to Halle Berry? Well it’s simple, we start placing a greater emphasis on the more easily obtainable images of success to compensate for what we’re lacking in the other areas. Those things usually boil down to women, God and, ironically enough, back to money. In many cases this can be a healthy process, but in a lot more cases it’s process that yields little fruit.

In this series we’re going to be taking a journey into the psychology that informs our ideas about success and how it affects our self-esteem, relationships, and general makeup as men. Once again, I’m not a psychologist or anthropologist, feel free to take my writings with a grain of salt. I am, however, someone who’s likes to observe and analyze, and someone who likes to have frank and honest discussions, so I hope that we can at least start a dialogue.

Stay tuned for part II of this series and feel free to post a comment with your thoughts about the topic and where you’d like to see this conversation go.

Lawrence Watford is a independent film director living in New York City. Connect @ www.facebook.com/lawvillesolutions and check out the trailer for his latest short “The Mourning After” @ www.lawvillesolutions.com

Read Part 2:
CARS & THE HOES, I SUPPOSE: SUCCESSFUL