It’s been hard for me I must admit. One year later I’m still in mourning. It will never be okay that Michael Jackson is gone. Ever…

I try not to remember the pain of that day-the shock, the numbness, the tears, the anger, the tangible difference we all felt. I remember being unable to handle the unchanging reality of it. I would not watch TV. I refused to listen to the radio because I could not handle how different the songs I once loved so deeply left me feeling. I decided I would deal with it in my own time. I would remember him in doses. I would go see This is It. I would watch the Jackson Family Dynasty. I would fall into the MJ portal on youtube and watch interviews of him like I did when I was a girl-simply remembering… Mourning I guess. Slowly I would watch specials I’d recorded but couldn’t bear to watch in the days following his passing. Occasionally I would thumb through a memorial magazine of his pictures. You see, Michael Jackson was the best to me. As a young girl moving from New York to South Carolina I often felt very lonely. Depressed even from being an outsider. It may sound silly but he was my gospel music at the time. The sound that lifted me up. My secret getaway, daydream or escape. This was majorly 9, 10, 11 & 12  years old. My mother bought me his book Moonwalk for my 12th birthday. To this day it goes down in history as my BEST birthday present EVER. I was SO excited. I read it I don’t know how many times.  I listened to everything. Music he made in my time and music he made in my mother’s time. My sister thought I was obsessed and she was right. I was. I was a FAN-atic. And don’t even talk about the dancing.

Even after I became an adult, a bad day at work could always be remedied by the silky sounds of his voice. Honey on a microphone I always said. And through his highs and lows in the public eye I’m proud to say I always remained true. He was and always will be my favorite. I am honored to publish this blog post today although I’m pained he never got a chance to moonwalk in front of millions of fans. Tonight I’m hoping his children are well. Sad they have to live without him and will have to wait so, so, so long to see him again.  I join fans around the world in wishing we could have given him the peace he was looking for. The peace that would’ve allowed him to sleep that night. I wish he found the purple sky on earth as it is in heaven but our fanaticism never gave him that.

Believe it or not, I decided to start ThePurpleSky.com after Michael passed. We launched on his birthday- August 29th. I guess I realized life is short and that we have to pursue our dreams right now. And that covering entertainment doesn’t have to be dishonoring to others. So thank you Michael-for the joy, the thrill, and the inspiration. I’m prayerful that you are someplace high in the purple sky discovering the source of your songs.  I hope you know that even though you were mistreated and berated by many you were sincerely appreciated by one and by many, many more.

MJ in his own words.